Saturday, April 11, 2009

A Letter For My Friends

I have Parkinson's disease. It is not contagious. No one knows what causes it, but some of the dopamine cells in the brain begin to die at an accelerated rate. Everyone slowly loses some dopamine cells as the grow older. If the cells suddenly begin to die at a faster rate, Parkinson's disease develops. It is a slowly progressive disease usually occurring as people get older. Medicine can help. I'll take newer, stronger kinds over the years. Some make me sick and take lots of adjustments. Stick with me. I have good days and bad days.

Emotions: Sometimes I cry and appear to be upset and you think you have done something to hurt my feelings. Probably not. It is the Parkinson's Keep talking to me. Ignore the tears. I'll be ok in a few minutes.

Tremors: You are expecting me to shake. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. Medicine today takes care of the tremors. If my hands, feet, or head are shaky, ignore it. I'll sit on my hands or put them in my pockets. Treat me as you always have. What's a little shakiness between friends.

My face: You think you don't entertain me anymore because I'm not grinning or laughing. If I appear to stare at you, or have a wooden expression, that's the Parkinson's I hear you. I have the same intelligence, it just isn't easy to show facial expressions.

Stiffness: We are ready to go somewhere and I get up. I can hardly move. Maybe my medicine is wearing off. The stiffness or rigidity is part of Parkinson's Let me take my time, keep talking.

Exercise: I need to walk each day. Two to three miles is good. Walk with me. Company makes walking fun. It may be a slow walk, but I'll get there. Remind me if I slump or stoop. I don't always know I'm doing this. My stretching, bending, exercises must be done everyday. Help me with them if you can.

My voice: As my deeper tones disappear, you'll notice my voice is getting higher and wispy. That's the Parkinson's I know you can talk louder, faster and finish my sentences for me. I don't care for that. Let me talk, get my thoughts together and speak for myself. I'm still there. My mind's okay. Since I'm slower in movement, my thoughts are slower too. I want to be part of the conversation. Let me speak.

Sleeplessness: I may complain that I can't sleep. If I wander around in them middle of the night, that's Parkinson's It has nothing to do with what I ate or how early I went to bed. I may nap during the day. Let me sleep when I can. I can't always control when I'm tired or feel like sleeping. Be patient, my friends. I need you. I'm the same person, I've just slowed down. It's not easy to talk about Parkinson's, but I'll try if you really want to know. I need my friends. I want to continue to be part of life. Please remain my friend.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Parkinson's Beast


October, 2000, This is the day I was personally diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.
It's a day to stand strong in facing the beast and telling it that I have not succumbbed to being it's fool and vow another year not to be suckered into believing its lies. It's a time to vow another year as its opponent and thus on that day yearly I shall face in square in its eyes and declare the following:

1) PD beast-- I will not be fooled into believing that YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF ME. You may have destroyed some of my brain dopamine-producing cells but you will never destroy my spirit. My spirit will stay strong despite your blows towards my head and heart. I will continue to dodge your blows and stand up again if knocked down.

2) PD Beast-- I will not gullibally give in to your lies about how you will REDUCE MY LIFE SPAN WITH PD CAUSED COMPLICATIONS because I have and will continue exercising, eating healthy, and taking supplements to keep my body at its peak. I will live longer, be healthier and happier.

3) PD Beast-- I will not be played as your fool by thinking my QUALITY OF LIFE will be any less because of you... But, on the contrary, my enemy, my friend, the quality of my life will be heightened in spite of you for I will make effort to cherish every moment with family and friends reaching out to give in any way I can... Even if I am reduced to total physical immobility, I will remain positive and strong in spirit to give to everyone an example and inspiration of strength, faith and reliance on God's holy spirit.

4) PD Beast-- I will not be lulled into believing that THERE ARE THINGS I CANNOT DO ANYMORE. Because of you I may need to creatively adapt to accomplish a task or goal but I vow to embrace you as part of me and not give up any goals I have or will desire to make for I am told to love my enemies-- you are one of my prime enemies which has taken permanent residence within me refusing to leave. Thus, I take you with me as I run a marathon, play outdoor games , as I drive, work, eat, sleep and as I breathe each breath. You shall keep me humble, modest, and respectful in reminding me of human frailaty and immortality... Thus, I will remain strong, determined, and happy.